What is the best Energy Level for talking to girls?
If you don’t know the best energy level for talking to girls, you run the risk of making women uncomfortable when you meet them and wasting the opportunity
When you approach women with the best energy level for the situation, you can help make sure women feel comfortable and interested when they meet you
So what’s the biggest mistake men make in choosing the best energy level for talking to girls?
The biggest mistake men make with their energy level is having an energy level which is too low or too relaxed for the situation
You’ll know what it’s like for women when they meet low energy guys if you’ve ever been stuck at the ‘boring table’ at a workplace event or a wedding and you were SO bored of the people on your table that you couldn’t wait to leave!
Having too low an energy level is more common for men who are less socially experienced, shy, introverted and so on, and this low energy level is often interpreted by women as meaning you are a boring guy
This is because they aren’t creating enough of an emotional response in the women they meet.
So how do you correct this?
There was an old philosophy that stated you should aim to be ‘high energy’. But the biggest problem with that advice is that ‘high energy’ means something different to everyone
For example someone who is shy would typically have a much more relaxed interpretation of ‘high energy’ to someone who is an experienced socialite
Because of this, the shy person’s energy would likely be too low and they would be considered boring. On the flipside, the more outgoing person would likely come across as being too intense or overwhelming
Another problem with that advice is if you approach a shy girl, a girl who is in a relaxed situation or a girl who’s in a relaxed mood with extremely high energy, you can overwhelm her or freak her out, and scare her away!
And the last problem with that advice is men can begin to set unrealistic expectations for their energy levels. They begin to worry that their energy level is too low when talking to women, and worry girls will leave if they aren’t feeling upbeat enough or if the mood becomes more relaxed during an interaction. This usually becomes somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Furthermore, they can even feel like being in a more relaxed mood prevents them from approaching a woman altogether!
So how do you work out what’s the best energy level for talking to girls?
The easiest way to work out the best energy level for talking to girls in a specific situation is to actually first become aware of the existing energy level with the girl or group that you would like to meet
Then your aim is to set your energy level slightly above the girl or group you are meeting
This way you can:
- Make sure your energy level isn’t too low
- Make sure your energy level isn’t too high
It may take a bit of effort to push yourself initially to get your energy up to that higher level initially, but it will be well worth it when you start seeing the positive benefit of making sure you are no longer being misinterpreted as being boring
Additionally, if you usually have too much energy, you will be less likely to frighten women away
The most important time to pay attention to your energy level is when you first approach. This is because once you’ve been with the girl or group for a few minutes, generally your energy levels will naturally normalise with the people you meet. Regardless of this, you must always aim to keep an upbeat, friendly and positive energy in your interactions so people enjoy spending time with you and want to continue to do so
If you are new to socialising, the above could take some practice, but it’s a skill that can be learned by anyone if you are prepared to put in the time and effort
Contact Us today if you would like to know how we can help you get the confidence and skills to improve your social and dating success