Should guys pay for dates or should women have to pay their fair share too?
Maybe you’re sick of spending lots of money on expensive dates?
Are you worried that women sometimes take advantage of you for your generous nature?
Most men don’t realise that always paying for dates can actually REDUCE a woman’s attraction to you!
Although in years gone past it was traditionally a man’s responsibility to pay for dates EVERY time, in this modern world where women earn as much, and sometimes more than men, things are starting to evolve
It’s important to make sure you’re up to date with the latest strategies so you don’t get taken advantage of, but also don’t miss out on great women because you act like you’re cheap and unwilling to pay your fair share
Why Paying for Everything Can Hurt You
Lots of women consider it undesirable when a man buys everything on a first date or even for the first few dates. This is because:
- She thinks you’re only spending money because you expect something in return, which appears manipulative
- She thinks you’re only spending so much money because you’re worried she won’t like you if you don’t, which can appear insecure
- She feels you’re giving too much to her too early before she feels like she’s earned it, so you appear too keen and needy
Additionally, if you have extremely lavish first dates, it can put too much pressure on a woman making her less likely to show up or have a good time.
You can learn more about this in my video and article The Top 5 Dating Mistakes Men Make & How to Fix Them here: http://legendsacademy.com.au/biggest-dating-mistakes-men-make/
‘Gold Diggers’
Although I believe most women are good people, there are a few that seek out and take advantage of men who are happy to pay for everything. Some of these women have no intention whatsoever of becoming intimate with the men either. They are simply after a man who will take them on dates and buy them dinner and gifts
Usually when the man catches on and realises what’s happening, these women will realise their free ride is over and ditch the man and move on to their next victim. Some of these women are even doing this to multiple men all at the same time.
The best way to avoid the above scenario is to indicate to women early on that you aren’t the type of guy who can’t be easily taken advantage of. Then any women looking to take advantage of you will look for an easier target.
Set the Boundaries at the Start!
The rules and boundaries for your interactions with a girl are set in your very first meetings. Because of this it’s important to make sure you consciously set the rules the right way at the beginning to avoid facing problems later on.
For example, if you start by paying for everything on your first few dates, the girl will begin to expect that you will pay for everything on your future dates too. However, if you let her know early on that she’s expected to pay her share too, she will make sure she does.
The Solution
I’m about to reveal to you my best technique for letting women know you can’t be taken advantage of, while at the same time making sure they know you’re happy to pay your fair share and that you’re not cheap!
On a first date I like to go for a coffee or drink. Something inexpensive and relaxed. Lots of men and women worry about “Who’s going to pay” so this is how I recommend taking care of it.
When it comes time to pay, I take the lead and pay for the first drink/coffee etc, but this is what I say:
“I’ll get it this time. You can get it next time.”
This communicates to her NON-VERBALLY: “I’m not gonna pay for everything and I have personal boundaries. I’m happy to pay my share but I expect you to pay your share too.”
Most women will be totally fine with this, and will usually expect it on a first date. They will also respect you for having personal boundaries
As a nice bonus, it also suggests that you are expecting the date to continue or that there will be a second date which conveys a lot of confidence
Some women will insist on paying for the first date. If that’s the case, then let them, and say “Thank you. That’s very kind. I’ll get it next time.”
I hope this helps you overcome what can be a dilemma for millions of men around the world
Remember to stay Legendary out there
Ben Alexander
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