Want to know how to get out of the friend zone?
How to get out of the friend zone is one of the most common questions I am asked as a dating coach. The reason for this is ‘the friend zone’ is one of the most common problems guys encounter with women and dating.
If you don’t know how to avoid the friend zone, you will end up being ‘just friends’ with the girls who you actually want to be intimate with. When you figure out how to avoid the friend zone, you will usually be able to decide which girls you want to be intimate with and which ones you just want to be friends with and act accordingly to make it so.
What is The Friend Zone?
The friend zone is when you are attracted to a girl and want to date her or be intimate with her, but she doesn’t feel the same way and just wants to be friends with you. Although the friend zone may seem like a problem, it’s actually a symptom of a man who doesn’t know how to naturally attract women.
The Harsh Truth on How to Get Out of The Friend Zone
Most guys who want to know how to get out of the friend zone are already in the friend zone with a girl they instead want to be intimate with (I suppose that makes a lot of sense…right?). But there is a harsh truth about knowing how to get out of the friend zone that you can only understand once you know the following.
The dynamic (or relationship) between you and a girl begins to be established from the very first moment you meet her. Simply put, whether you and her will end up dating or whether you and her will end up as just friends is decided by how you interact with a woman usually in the first few seconds, minutes or hours of meeting her. Why?
Whenever we meet people, we sort of ‘ping’ or ‘feel-out’ someone’s vibe. Women are especially good at this and when they first meet a man, they immediately begin to assess whether he is someone they consider as attractive/a lover or if they just see him as a friend.
Generally a girl will seek to friend zone any guy she meets who she doesn’t consider attractive or any guy who signals that he is only looking for friendship with her. So for example, if you interact with a girl like you just want to be friends when you first meet her, she will respond back to you as a friend. The longer you interact with her like a friend, the more strongly she will consider you as a friend and the less she will consider you as a lover, and the harder it will be for you to change your dynamic with her from a friendly one to an intimate one.
There is no exact time frame for how long it takes before any particular girl decides she wants to be just friends with a guy as there are so many variables from person to person and in different situations, but it can sometimes be decided as quickly as within a few seconds or minutes, and in other cases it could take hours or even days. Most guys however struggle to understand just how hard it is to change this ‘classification’ from friend to lover once it’s been established, and often this is the biggest frustration of a guy in the friend zone, as it seems nothing he tries can change it.
Therefore, the only solution is to make sure you interact with with the women you are attracted to in an attractive manner as soon as you first meet them. This lets them know you would like to be romantically involved with them as soon as they meet you and lets them begin to class you as attractive right from the first moment and avoids them classing you as a friend. So the harsh truth of how to avoid the friend zone is: The best way to get out of the friend zone is to never get in the friend zone in the first place!
How to Avoid The Friend Zone
If you frequently end up in the friend zone and just read the above and thought ‘But I didn’t treat her like I wanted to be her friend! I was acting in an attractive manner, or at least I thought I was and I was trying to show her I like her!”, then there are two main possibilities:
- Less Likely: You haven’t met a girl who is a match for you. Find another girl who is a match for you.
- More Likely: You haven’t yet learned a proven system to communicate yourself in a naturally attractive way. Find out how to do this! (Contact us here if you want help with this)
But I’m Stuck in The Friend Zone! Help!
If you are stuck in the friend zone with a girl and just can’t seem to get out, and you are in denial and are unwilling to admit defeat, then you are choosing to make life very hard for yourself. ‘Recovery rates’ from the friend zone are extremely low because of everything I said above. Depending how long you’ve known a girl and how long she’s considered you as a friend, often it can be near impossible for her to see you any other way. Its kind of like expecting a girl to become attracted to her brother…which is messed up!
Also, a guy who is ‘stuck’ on a girl is inherently an unattractive prospect to that girl. Why? Because women are attracted to confident men who have their own mission in life as their highest priority. This is why women seem so attracted to businessmen, politicians, musicians and sports people etc who have strong missions. If your highest mission is a girl, then you have failed at satisfying that requirement and women will find you less attractive.
Also, consider how many options you currently have with different women? Are you able to easily meet women and date them? Or are you very rarely able to do so? Usually guys who are stuck in the friend zone are less capable of attracting women. If this is you, then consider if you only feel so strongly for this particular girl because you don’t have any other options? Would you care so much about this particular girl if you had the ability to meet ten other women who were equally or more attractive as her?
Learning how to meet attractive women can be much easier than you think when you get the right information, so if you’d like to know more, check out some of our related articles here, the programs we offer here, or Contact Us now to find out how we can help you to naturally attract the women you want.
Ben Alexander